Disclaimer: The "I" in this story isn't really me :) Although, I wish I were this clever!
I recently asked my friend's little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up.
She said she wanted to be President some day.
Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, "If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?"
She replied, "I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people."
Her parents beamed.
"Wow! What a worthy goal," I told her, "but you don't have to wait until you're President to do that. In the meantime, you can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you $50.00. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out. You can give him the $50.00 to use toward food and a new house."
She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, "Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50.00?"
I said, "Welcome to the Republican Party."
Her parents still aren't speaking to me.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Happy Birthday to Me!
I had no idea my coworkers thought I was this much of a princess... Their comments are pretty funny!!
Monday, January 26, 2009
My very first published essay!!!
My essay "Thanks for the Lesbians. Where are the Dykes?" will be published in the 2010 edition of Writing the University!
http://www.csus.edu/wac/journal/
http://www.csus.edu/wac/journal/
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Wristband for iPhone??
My dearly beloved was so excited to get iBowl on his iPhone.
I laughed as I lightheartedly poked fun at the Wii lawsuits while suggesting iPhone should have a "safety strap."
No more than 2 minutes later, dearly beloved THREW his iPhone across the room and SLAMMED into the wall! Luckily, it didn't turn out like this:
(iPhone pic courtesy of @Scott_Wood).
I laughed as I lightheartedly poked fun at the Wii lawsuits while suggesting iPhone should have a "safety strap."
No more than 2 minutes later, dearly beloved THREW his iPhone across the room and SLAMMED into the wall! Luckily, it didn't turn out like this:
(iPhone pic courtesy of @Scott_Wood).
Planning Ahead
Did I have the best NYE of my life? Yes, indeed. Did I still miss Kaskade? Yes, indeed. Lucky for me, The Park UltraLounge is bringing him back in three short months. Oh, Kaskade, how I miss thee. Although I'm ashamed to admit, I have not seen Kaskade since etd.POP last May. I promise to know every song from Strobelite Seduction by April 16. I also promise to sing and dance to heart out on the eve of April 16. By the way: No, I do not work for The Park. No, I do not work for Om Records. It's just that I heart Kaskade. Thanks, Park, for bringing him back before they make me go to therapy.
See you soon! <3
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Mission: Accomplished
So, I actually did it. I passed all of my classes. I am pretty darn proud of how well I did, too -- considering I was working full-time and taking 21 units!! It's official - I'm a college graduate. I'm going to treat myself with something really fantastic when I get my tuition reimbursement from work. Any ideas??
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Day One to Day Six
Jury Duty: I had jury duty yesterday. Well, sort of. If you have ever had jury duty and never actually entered a courtroom but waited around ALL day, then you know what I'm talking about. Literally, I waited in a big room with dozens of people watching movies all day. It wasn't so bad because I was still getting paid :) But I did really want to be on a jury and say "GUILTY!"
Vegetarianism: We all know that I've been quite the animal rights activist over the last year, but I have a confession: I have completely fallen off the wagon. I even had a *gasp* cheeseburger yesterday. It tasted so good -- but I knew it was wrong because I had to force myself to not think about what I was eating... That can't be a good thing. I am definitely going back -- but I just had to 'fess up to my carnivorism.
Yoga: I am in serious deprivation of yoga time. During my last semester(!) of college, I practiced about 2 hours total. Not good. So, I'm coming back full speed - tonight. I'm excited to get back in to yoga-shape because I really want to start yoga school this year.
Library: It's time for me to get caught up with my pop culture reading. This week, I am starting Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert and The History of Love by Nicole Krauss. I am also anxiously waiting for The Road by Cormac McCarthy to become available at the library. Yes, I am a total geek. I love libraries. I have a list going already but, if you have any recommendations, I'd love to hear from you.
Vegetarianism: We all know that I've been quite the animal rights activist over the last year, but I have a confession: I have completely fallen off the wagon. I even had a *gasp* cheeseburger yesterday. It tasted so good -- but I knew it was wrong because I had to force myself to not think about what I was eating... That can't be a good thing. I am definitely going back -- but I just had to 'fess up to my carnivorism.
Yoga: I am in serious deprivation of yoga time. During my last semester(!) of college, I practiced about 2 hours total. Not good. So, I'm coming back full speed - tonight. I'm excited to get back in to yoga-shape because I really want to start yoga school this year.
Library: It's time for me to get caught up with my pop culture reading. This week, I am starting Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert and The History of Love by Nicole Krauss. I am also anxiously waiting for The Road by Cormac McCarthy to become available at the library. Yes, I am a total geek. I love libraries. I have a list going already but, if you have any recommendations, I'd love to hear from you.
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